One of the biggest fears in human society (behind terminal illness or injury, losing a loved one, or being made to watch an entire episode of The Valleys) is losing your job. The majority of us are conditioned from a very early age to believe that finding – and keeping – a, ‘good’ job is our paramount concern in life. Makes sense, right? We need money to live, and for those of us outside of Made in Chelsea-world, that money doesn’t simply fall into your lap. So, you have to work.
But what happens when you lose that job? What happens when – even worse – it’s through no fault of your own?
I was made redundant earlier this year, from a job I’d held for a little over four months. The reason? They’d hired me for a position that had no reason to exist in a company that operated as they did. They were as nice about it as they could be – apologetic, even – but what it ultimately came down to was the fact that I was losing my job for not doing a job that I wasn’t hired to do. In their words: their fault.
As it turned out, my redundancy was a stepping-stone to bigger and better things. I got another job within a matter of days, which was better-paid and much better suited to my skillset, plus that brief employment Purgatory made me question my real career direction. Admin was never what I wanted to do – I wanted to be a writer, and so, soon as I’d locked down a new day job, I set about finding ways to do what I loved. I started blogging. I put in substantial man hours on the historical novel I’ve been half-heartedly developing for months. I rewrote my new employer’s entire website. Some people began to take notice, and now I’m a contributor for a few websites, and building up a nice little portfolio.
But that brief period of time did leave me with a feeling I’d had only once before: when my ex of two years broke up with me. So, how is redundancy like a break-up? Let me count the ways…
1. You’re left wondering why the other person didn’t want you any more.
2. You have to re-adjust your habits and lifestyle completely.
3. You get angry. How fucking dare they? No one will do a better job than you.
4. You find out how they’re getting on without you. Did they get someone to replace you? Are they younger? Funnier? Prettier?
5. You know you have to find something to fill the gap, but your heart’s really not in it.
6. You beat yourself up over tiny mistakes. Maybe if you’d done something better, this wouldn’t have happened.
7. Friends take you out and get you drunk, because when there’s fluid filling your mouth, you can’t whinge about what’s happening.
8. All those long-term life goals you had? Yep, put them on hold for a while.
9. When you do find something new, and better, you want to shove it in their face and say, ‘Look! I’m doing fine without you!’
10. Eventually, you realise that they were no good for you anyway. Even if you do still dream about leaving a flaming bag of shit on their doorstep.
Constant Spinner 