31 Things All Women With A Wicked Sense Of Humour Can Relate To

For some of us, humour is gentle, appropriate, and inoffensive. Others, however, prefer our comedy scathing, and unapologetic, and more than a tiny bit sarcastic. Sounding familiar? You may just be one of the many, many women out there who’s fortunate enough to be blessed with a wicked sense of humour – and, God damn, it’s a lot of fun…

1. You’re no stranger to a shocked silence or two.

2. You’ve earned a reputation as something of a bitch because of some of the jokes you’ve told in the past.

3. Cards Against Humanity speaks to your wicked little soul.

4. ‘Kids falling over’ is a saved search in your YouTube app.

5. As is that video of the child’s sandwich getting nicked by a seagull. *evil laugh*

6. You’ve been described as having a, ‘Dry’ or, ‘Dark’ sense of humour, with all the warmth and friendliness that implies.

7. You gave up caring about who gets offended long ago.

8. In fact, you’ve probably offended more people than you have befriended…

9. You’ve been known to make the odd crack when it wasn’t appropriate. Say, in front of your boss.

10. Your friends open your Snapchats with a mixture of fear and delight.

11. Nothing is sacred or off-limits to you.

12. You’re used to hearing the words, “Too soon”.

13. Your favourite episodes of Come Dine With Me are the ones where everyone falls out.

14. You love a wind-up. What’s that? Your best friend is scared of sponge? Guess what her bag’s getting filled with…

15. You have a lot of male friends.

16. You’ve got a fantastic memory for embarrassing titbits that your friends have told you. And you bring them up at the most inopportune times – say, when you meet their new boyfriend.

17. When you’re introduced to new people, it’s normally with some sort of warning.

18. In fact, you’ve been actively kept away from some people.

19. People who don’t understand sarcasm are the bane of your life.

20. Really, you could do with a sarcasm font for all of your Tweets/Facebook statuses/texts.

21. Occasionally, people try to turn the table and put the joke on you, but you’ve invariably got a killer put-down. Burn.

22. But when someone does get the drop on you, they get a grudging high five. You recognise talent when you see it.

23. You’ve been known to deliberately antagonise people on the Internet, just for the lolz.

24. Sometimes, people try to shame you into contrition with phrases such as, “That’s not nice”. You know it’s not nice. That’s why it’s funny.

25. You enjoy a creative swear word, because sometimes, ‘F*ck’ just isn’t enough.

26. People who never have a bad word to say about anything bore you.

27. You have to have the last word in any banter. Even if that means taking it to the extreme.

28. You can make a joke out of just about any situation, which is kind of positive, right?

29. What some people call, ‘Rudeness’, you just call, ‘Honesty’.

30. There are times when you wonder why you have any friends at all. How do they put up with you?

31. Because you’re f*cking hilarious, that’s why – and don’t you forget it.

(Written for Pretty 52)